Getting Dressed When Unemployed

I lost my job on the 1st of July. The company shut down; it was nothing I did or didn’t do, just doors closing. And if you had told me a few weeks before that I would still be getting dressed when unemployed, still laying my clothes out over the chair in my room every single night, I probably would have laughed. Why bother when there is no office to walk into anymore?

I have written about how that day actually happened, if you want the fuller story.

But I still do it. Jeans, a black turtleneck, my brown suede belt with the gold latch, the tan trench, and black loafers with the little gold detail on top. That was yesterday. Tomorrow is already sorted too, hanging over the chair, waiting for a morning that does not actually need it to happen.

A while back I put together My Capsule Wardrobe, a workbook for building out a wardrobe that actually works for your real life, not the one you wish you had. I am working through it myself, section by section, and sharing what comes up as I go. This one starts with Section 01, My Life Right Now, which asks you to look honestly at how you spend your time, what the mental load at home actually looks like, and what your wardrobe needs to work for before you touch a single hanger.

So here is mine, unfiltered.

The Mental Load Does Not Clock Out

The mental load at home has not gone anywhere just because the job did. It is the same as it has always been: keeping the house clean, the washing done, the kids fed and bathed, homework checked, enough electricity on the meter to make it through the month, and enough groceries in the fridge. Except now there is an extra layer sitting underneath all of it, because without an income, it is not just about running the house anymore; it is about sustaining it. Every one of those small daily things has a bit more weight to it right now.

The habit of laying my clothes out started back when we had to be up early and I decided to journey to the office every day, even though I worked remotely. We had everything packed and ready the night before, or the morning simply would not have worked. It has stuck around because I am, if I am honest with myself, a bit of a control freak. Without a routine I start to panic, like I am losing my grip on things I actually need to hold onto. I have calmed down a lot since my kids got older and started managing more of their own mornings, but the routine still matters to me, because it means I know roughly how tomorrow is going to go, even on the days when almost nothing else feels certain. Lunch goes in the fridge the night before. Clothes go over the chair. The kids’ things get laid out too, and we have landed on a rhythm where we barely cross paths in the morning, everyone too sleepy to do much more than get on with it.

My daughter is always up first. I get my son up and then head to the kitchen for coffee. I let the dog out for her morning wee, grab lunch from the fridge, and then go get dressed while the kids fight over the bathroom. Okay, so makeup happens in the car, because honestly, I am too lazy to do it standing in front of the mirror at 6am.

None of that changed on the 1st of July. What changed is that there is no office at the other end of it.

During the July holidays I let myself off the hook a bit. I stayed in bed till eight and had my coffee; worked on the blog or hunted for a job from under the covers and did not get dressed properly till ten or eleven, and even then it was joggers and a jersey, comfortable house clothes. I like that when I am actually home. But the second we had somewhere to be, even just an outing during the holidays, I made the effort. I looked alive and neat, because it makes me feel like I am actually out in the world doing something and because my kids are watching me.

And they are watching more than I realised until I actually stopped to notice it. It is already instilled in them. Whether we are going to the shops or just taking Lulu to the park, they will take their time getting polished, never lowering the bar for something small. It makes me so proud to see that in them, that they take pride in how they look and how put together they are, because I know that is going to take them further than they realise. It will become how they measure all sorts of things in their life, not just what they wear.

So now that school is back and the holidays are over, the effort is back too, and it is not really about the job anymore. It is about refusing to let unemployed mean unmotivated. On the harder days I reach for the same thing almost without thinking: black chinos, a black pullover, and smart casual – my version of armour. I do not have an office to dress for, but I have a mission, even if right now that mission is job hunting and building this blog from my kitchen table.

Why Getting Dressed When Unemployed is Not About The Job

I will be honest, dressing up has not changed how I job hunt. I am just as desperate to find work whether I am in joggers or in those black chinos; time is running out either way, and I am working just as hard on it regardless of what I am wearing. If you want the real, unfiltered version of what that search has actually looked like, applications into silence, interviews that do not go anywhere, and the whole exhausting grind of it, I wrote about that properly last week. But not putting in the effort with how I show up, letting myself accept the situation exactly as it is instead of working towards the next one—that would feel like giving up. And I am not doing that.

This is what Section 01 of My Capsule Wardrobe is actually asking you to sit with before you get anywhere near a capsule list or a colour palette. Not what you own. Why you are still getting dressed at all.